This was emailed to me and I thought it was rather good!
Obituary to Mr. C. Sense.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain
- Why the early bird gets the worm
- Life isn’t always fair
- And, maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year old charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. His health declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Asprin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. He took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little on her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
He is survived by his 4 step brothers:
- I know my rights.
- I want it now.
- Someone else is to blame.
- I’m a victim.
Not many attended his funeral because few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, do stay true to his principles. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Simon Smailus 